Dealing With Things
by PoetTears
Summary: Its six month after the book but Ponyboy cant seem to move on. Will he ever be able to smile again ?
1. Default Chapter

**Dealing With Things**

Summary: Its six month after the book but Ponyboy cant seem to move on. Will he ever be able to smile again ?

Author note: This is my first time writing a story so please be kind. And also English is not my first language so if you see mistake feel free to tell me about it. Ok so its my second time posting that story I remove it the first time cause I really didn't like it. Anyway I really need a beta please.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to S.E Hinton Voila now on with the story.

Chapter one

Dealing with things

Pony pov

I knew they were talking about me and I knew I worried them I couldn't help it .But this was only my way of dealing with things. Yeah I did knew that I didn't smile so often anymore. But for god sake I just saw one of my close friend getting shot and my best friend die crumble in a creepy hospital bed . Did you really expected me to smile after that. And hell I never was the talkative type of guy before so why should I start now. I really wish they would stop looking at me like I was going to break or something. This was only my way of dealing with things.

Darry Pov

I could saw my little brother frowning from where he was sitting on the couch. I knew he knew that we were talking about him again . We just couldn't help it . My brother was not half the one he was before all this shit. He never smile anymore he didn't go out anymore. All he ever did was going to school do is homework and going to bed without a word to anyone. Even Soda couldn't make him smile. And shout if soda couldn't ... then who could ?

Soda Pov

My baby brother ... My poor little brother. He was so damn hurt right now that he couldn't even bring himself to smile. He kept running into things . I swear those damn socs were going to pay. This was killing me but it was killing Darry even more. Since he was little Pony always was Darry little precious. Darry love Pony more than anything even if Pony couldn't saw it. If something was to happen to him ... it would kill Darry. Hell it would kill me also. Somehow we had to find a way to help him.

Breaking the tense silence of the Curtis house Two bit came in slamming the door behind him.

-Hey guys

-Hey Two bit

-Keith

But Ponyboy didn't say anything he barely gave Two bits a look before suddenly standing up and announcing

-I'm tired I'm going to sleep good night

Turning around without waiting for an answer he miss the hurt look of Darry and the frown on Soda face.

Sighing Two bits sat in front of Darry and said.

-guys something is really wrong with Pony.

-Yeah and you notice that now say Darry with a cold voice

knowing that Darry was only tense because of Pony Two bits continue without taking offence

-No Darry you don't understand something happen today at school.

Seeing that he now had everyone complete attention he continue.

-Some socs came and start telling shit about the fact that he was a killer and stuff. But shout you should have seen his face. No reaction no emotion at all. He didn't even blink man. Not even when they say that Johnny was better of dead. His eyes were so cold. I swear I saw Dally for a second. Then when they were finish he walk away without a back glance like nothing happen. This is not Ponyboy man. Pony is a deep feeling kind of guy I don't like it . Even Steven notice it.

-Darry what are going to do say Soda completely shock

- I don't know little buddy I just don't know


	2. The essay and The crossing line

Dealing With Things

Summary: Its six month after the book but Ponyboy cant seem to move on. Will he ever be able to smile again ?

Author note: This is my first time writing a story so please be kind. And also English is not my first language so if you see mistake feel free to tell me about it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to S.E Hinton Voila now on with the story.

Chapter 2

The essay and The crossing line

Pony Pov

I woke up this morning with Soda's arm around me and I couldn't help but feel guilty. I knew Soda was feeling awful right now . And all that because of me. I wished I could talk to them and explain that they shouldn't worried about me . Its not like I'm dead or anything. I was still alive. Which was all the problem. I looked at the clock and saw that it was pretty early in the morning. I decided that I was going to start the essay my teacher had talked to us about. I already had made one essay about everything that had happen. My teacher was pretty impress. I got a A for that one. But since then my teacher asked us to do another essay. Its about something that we wished we could say to someone but that we never could for whatever reason. Yeah I know pretty weird uh. Always knew he hadn't all his head anyway. Until now I didn't know what to wrote about. I took my pen and without really noticing it I start writing. It wasn't due until next week but since I had free time...

_My brothers are the most important persons in my life and I love them to death. But while I could probably say that easily to my brother soda I could never say it so easily to Darry. Why... I don't know why. I love Darry as much as I love Soda. Darry was and always will be my hero. Since I was little I always saw him as a super hero or something. You know Darry has two set of cold blue ice eyes that can make you froze in a second when he stare at you. Don't get me wrong Darry is not a bad guy. No he's pretty caring now that I think about it. Darry love completely and he's devoted to the people he loves. He gave up college and all his dream for me and soda. He work so hard that its scary. And he never complain about it. He's amazing really. But Darry he's only 20 years old but act like a 40 years old man. And its sad really. _

Looking at the clock again I saw that I should prepare myself for school. Soda wasn't working today so I let him sleep. By the time I was out of the shower I saw that I was already late. Running to the door I yell goodbye and ran towards school. It wasn't until I was in class that I remember the essay. oh well I though its not a big deal ill finish it later.

My second class was finish and it was break time. I was walking toward Two bit and Steve class. I was pretty surprised when I saw him. Steve doesn't come often to school. But now that I think of it he seem to come more since.. well since the things happened. Suddenly a group of socs came toward me. They start saying wise comments about me being a greaser and all ( like I didn't know that already) you know the usual stuff. I kept walking anyway I had spotted Two Bit and Steve they were walking toward me already their eyes burning with anger. Then one of the soc told me.

- You know you are just like your brothers you're as dumb as them I mean come on Darry isn't even going to college and the soda one dropped school. At least he was smart enough to notice that he was too dumb to stay.

I froze in place. This was just too much. I lose it. For the first time in my life I really lose it. That socs had crossed the line.

Turning toward the one who had said that I punched him hard. He felt backward surprised by my attack and I just jump on him. Punching and kicking and screaming things that would have made even Dally blush. I didn't care where I was hitting him I was so damn mad. He didn't have the right to say anything about my brothers. But the soc was stronger than me and he pushed me away. My nose was bleeding and my lips was probably cut but I didn't care. I wasn't done with him and I was still pretty mad.

-who the hell are you to talk about my brothers like that. You don't even know what having a family mean. You think you own the world because you have money. Well new flash you're nothing.. nothing at all. And who the hell are you calling dumb. I'm fourteen years old and yet I'm in the same class as you. I'm more smart than all of your damn friends put together.

By the end of my screaming speech I was ready to jump on him again when I felt someone taking me backward. It was the principal .

Hell I though Darry was going to kill me.

So... another chapter done. I'm not really happy with it but anyway ... review please


	3. Pony's outburst

Dealing With Things

Summary: Its six month after the book but Ponyboy cant seem to move on. Will he ever be able to smile again ?

Author note: This is my first time writing a story so please be kind. And also English is not my first language so if you see mistake feel free to tell me about it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to S.E Hinton Voila now on with the story.

Chapter 3

Pony's outburst

Darry Pov

I couldn't believe it. My brother involved in a fight. In the school no less. Ponyboy wasn't the fighting type of guy. Yeah he could defend himself pretty good. But he never did until he had too. And sometimes he didn't even do anything at all even if he could. So I was pretty surprised when my boss told me that I had been call by the principal during my work. I couldn't took the phone cause I was busy. When I had some free time I returned his call only to discovered that Pony had been involved in a fight in the middle of the school. This is turning completely insane. Anyway the principal said that he wanted to see me and Soda. Which leave me pretty perplex I mean ok me I understand but why Soda also. I was starting to have a really big headache and the **Boy** sitting in front of me wasn't helpingit at all. Sighing I try to talk to him again.

-Pony what happen today ?

-Nothing that concern you

- What do you mean that doesn't concern me. You've been involve in a fight in the school and you think I'm gonna let it pass like that. Listen little buddy I know that things aren't easy for you and I understand what you feel ...

But Darry didn't have the time to finish Pony interrupt him

- You don't have any idea what I'm feeling he yell surprising Darry and making the rest of the gang running into the kitchen. How the hell could you... You weren't the one seeing your best friend dying alone in a hospital bed while his mother was screaming. Do you know what she was screaming about Darry. She was screaming not because her only son was dead but because she had to pay the hospital bills. And Dally... You didn't see his eyes like I saw them when he saw that Johnny was dead. How the hell can you know how I feel. I was the one being almost drown by those socs. If Johnny hadn't kill that soc I would be the one **DEAD**. Do you get that **I was suppose to be the one dying. **

With that finally said. Pony broke down sobbing.


	4. The day after Pony’s Outburst

Summary: Its six month after the book but Ponyboy cant seem to move on. Will he ever be able to smile again ?

Author note: A big thank you to animalsare4life and Dreamer4lyf718 for their review. You guys are why I'm keeping this story alive. And I hope that you'll love this chapter Thank you again. And also sorry for the mistake I'm trying really hard not to make too many of them. But me being a French girl ... But I love English so ill do my best

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to S.E Hinton

Voila now on with the story.

Chapter 4

The day after Pony's Outburst

Soda Pov

The night before had left us all really shaky inside. I mean my little brother just announced that he though he was suppose to be the one dying. How the hell could he though something like that man. The look in his eyes when he said it. Well its scaring me something awful. He wasn't kidding I could felt it by the way he was crying . Broke my heart the way he was sobbing really. So much pain. Damn. I was crying myself and hell even Darry was. I kept remembering the way he had reach for Pony taking him in his arms so tenderly. And how Pony had begged him to make the pain away. While all I could do was reaching for them and holding them like there was no tomorrow. We didn't even notice when Steve and Two-bits left. All we knew was that when we stopped crying they weren't there anymore. We all slept together that night. Just like old times. But when the morning came. Pony was back to his old self. Probably feeling pretty embarrassed about his outburst and the fight. Which explain why me and Superman are sitting in front of the principal's office waiting. I had no idea why I had to be there but seem like the principal insisted that I had to came also.

Two-Bit Pov

The kid... well the kid is scaring me man. The power that he got over me is scary. Last night I left the Curtis home in hurry. Not because I felt like they need some privacy. Old Two bit never gave anyone privacy not when he could watch a good show. No the truth was that I couldn't bare to see the kid like this. He was looking so damn helpless. And the way he was crying was breaking something inside of me. And before I knew it. I had tears in my eyes. I couldn't even remember the last time I had cry. I though I had lost that capacity a long time ago. I like the kid. Hell lets just admit it I'm completely crazy about him. Bad thing shouldn't happen to him. He's so innocent and all. Always with a dreamy look on his face our buried in a book. Around our neighbourhood nobody is like him. He's the last beautiful thing in our side of the city. But the socs had to broke him also. Cause that's just what they did. They broke is spirit. That's why he fought with that soc in the school. Because he doesn't know how to react anymore. When I saw him fighting ... I wasn't proud or anything. All I could though about was that we were loosing him also. Loosing that beautiful innocent spirit. Just like we had lost Johnny. But I wont allow that. I love that kid too much to let them took all the feelings and emotion he got inside of himself. I don't want him to be like us. He deserve better than all this shit. From now on I'm watching over him. I'm sure that's what Johnny and Dally would have wanted. Yeah even Dally had a soft spot for the kid.

Steve Pov

Damn kid. Stupid kid. How come he's always in trouble. Soda doesn't need to have another worry on his mind man. Yeah maybe I'm being to harsh on that kid. But there just something about him... What the hell am I crying about anyway. Greasers don't cry. Greasers couldn't allow themselves to cry. What does he think he's doing screaming stuff like that anyway. Not that I care. No I'm just saying that for Soda. Soda is my best friend. And if the kid is loosing it... Soda and Darry will loose it also. So I got to protect the kid somehow. Not because I care about him. No don't care about anything anymore.. expect Soda

Darry Pov

Last night was a nightmare. I had never saw my little brother acting like that. And the stuff he was saying. What the hell was he talking about. My little one though he was suppose to be the one dying. How could he though something like that. If he was to die... I wouldn't survive. Soda wouldn't survive either. I just knew it. I love my brothers more than anything. But I always had a soft spot for Pony. He shouldn't be suffering this way. I kept thinking that somehow I failed him. When he was in my arms. He kept saying. Darry please take the pain away make it go away. And I couldn't do a damn thing about it. He was sounding so scared and hurt. This morning he was back to being cold. I wanted to talk to him but I didn't know what to say. So I let him go. But tonight I was going to tell him everything. Everything that i felt for him.

The door of the principal office suddenly opening put Darry out of his though. The director mention to them to come in. When Darry and Soda did they saw that Ponyboy's English teacher was here also. This meeting was going to be something. Darry could feel it.

A.N: Another chapter done. Well I like this one. I have a lot of idea. The next chapter is call The Meeting. So you know ... go review already -.-


	5. The meeting and The cold heart routine

Dealing With Things

Summary: Its six month after the book but Ponyboy still can't to move on. Will he ever be able to smile again ?

Author note: This is my first time writing a story so please be kind. And also English is not my first language so if you see mistake feel free to tell me about them.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to S.E Hinton Voila now on with the story.

Darry Pov

I knew Pony had live some pretty bad things. But I never knew how much until I've read his essay. I was left speechless. When me and Soda enter the principal's office we were quite surprise to see Pony's English teacher there also. The principal explain to us that Pony was a great student with an amazing talent to write. He never had problem with him before and he was willing to let the incident of the fight go just like that. Then he said that he was leaving us with Mr. Johnson ( that was the teacher name) cause he had some stuff to show us. Now that's a weird one I'm telling you but he obviously had a lot of affection for Pony. He didn't talk a lot he only gave each of us a copy of Pony' essay and left us to read it. I finished it before Soda and I was completely in shock I was feeling so bad for my little brother. Everything was now making sense. All the stuff he was screaming about the other night. About how he was suppose to be the one dying. I could understand why he though that but still there was no way I was going to let him believing it. Turning around I saw that Soda had tears in his eyes. I wasn't feeling to good either. I didn't get why all this had to happen to Pony. He was a sweet boy and wouldn't hurt a fly.

This was so damn unfair. He didn't deserve all that. He shouldn't live trough all that. Sighing softly I reach for Soda and try consoled him the best I could even though my own heart was breaking for my little baby.

Two bit Pov

I was waiting for Pony outside of his class. I didn't saw him this morning and I was pretty sure he was doing everything in his power to avoid me. He was probably feeling bad about his last night outburst. But as far as I was concerned I didn't give a damn about it. If that could help him coming back to his old self then he could to a scene like this every damn day if he wanted. I saw him coming toward me with but then he saw me and stop walking right away. Sighing softly I made my way toward him anyway.

-Hey Pony

-hum hey he say without making eyes contact with me which strangely hurt me a little.

I could tell he wasn't feeling to good right now and he was probably expecting me to say something about last night. But I wasn't going to do that. I had decide that I was going to act like nothing had ever happen in the first place.

-Steve is waiting for us outside lets go eat I'm starving

-sure

My plan had work Pony was less nervous around me than before and he was actually smiling a little. It wasn't a big smile but hey it was better than nothing right.

Steve Pov

I was standing outside waiting for Pony and Two bits. I wasn't feeling to good though. The fact that I was going to face that kid again today wasn't really appealing to me. Yeah I being pretty unfair toward the kid. But I just can't allow myself to have feeling. If you wanted to survive in my hood ya just had to be a cold heart bastard. Beside all feeling ever did is making you hurt. Look at the kid for example. He always show emotion and now he's hurt. Nope I just can't allow myself to feel anything anymore. I f I wanted to survive I had to stick with the cold bastard routine. Even if it wasn't making me feeling to hot about myself.

Ooof another chapter done. Yeah i know its been a while but hey i'm back now arent i


	6. Pony run away

Dealing With Things

Summary: Its six month after the book but Ponyboy cant seem to move on. Will he ever be able to smile again ?

Author note: This is my first time writing a story so please be kind. And also English is not my first language so if you see mistake feel free to tell me about it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to S.E Hinton Voila now on with the story.

Chapter 6

Pony run away

Two Bit Pov

I'm so angry right now. I just couldn't believe how Steve had act toward Pony this afternoon. What the hell was wrong with him anyway. He knew the kid had been through a lot of shit. He could at least try to be civil around him for a change. But no he had to give him the cold shoulder.

Flashback

I had finally manage to make Pony a little more comfortable and by the time we were outside of the school he was pretty ok. That when we saw Steve waiting for us next to the car. We made or way toward him and we both greet him. But he had to open is damn mouth.

-Oh ya still alive kid. I didn't think you would after last night and all.

I was left speechless. Then I saw Pony's face. He was paler than a ghost and look like he was going to faint or something. Seeing him like this was killing me.

-Pony I say softly get in the car and wait for me ok.

At first he didn't react and I had to push him inside. Making sure he was alright I turn around to look at Steve. He wasn't showing any kind of remorse or anything.

-What the hell is wrong with you man ! Why did you say that to him ? Are you out of your mind or something you know he's been through a lot lately ..

But I didn't had time to finish cause Steve start yelling at me.

-Yeah and so what .. You all behaving like he was the only one hurting Why can't he just move on. Yeah so they're dead big deal we're all gonna die a day anyway why the hell can't he just drop it? why all the drama ?

Before I could reply to him we heard a door being slam and I saw Pony running away like the devil was after him.

Which is why I'm here now trying to calm a very piss off Darry. I haven't talk to Soda yet and I really don't feel like it. Steve walk away after Pony left. He didn't say he was sorry or anything no he just shook is head and walk away like nothing was wrong. And now Pony is missing Darry is furious and Soda doesn't know a thing about all this. I just hope for everyone' sake that Pony is ok.

A.N: Ok I know short chapter but I wasn't really happy about some of the stuff I had wrote in it. So I decide to cut it there. Anyway stick around cause the drama continue. In the next chapter Pony is finally gonna give is point of view. And thank for the review you guys are fantastic.


	7. Come what may

Dealing With Things

Summary: Its six month after the book but Ponyboy cant seem to move on. Will he ever be able to smile again ?

Author note: This is my first time writing a story so please be kind. And also English is not my first language so if you see mistake feel free to tell me about it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to S.E Hinton Voila now on with the story.

Chapter 7

Come what may

Ponyboy Pov

Why did he say something like that to me. I still couldn't believe it. When he had said that he was surprised by the fact that I was still alive. Well it hurt me something awful. What the hell did he mean by that anyway. Does he want me dead ? And then he start yelling at Two Bit and the stuff he said back then still make my heart break. I had to run away I couldn't take it. All the anger and hateI could feel in his word ... It was too much so I ran away. I took the train and before I knew it I was back where the church was suppose to be. I saw everything playing in my head like some movie. Except that it was reality and I couldn't go back in time. I remember Dallas voice when he came for us with Soda's letter. I was actually happy to see him that day. I remember Jonny soft voice when we were alone in the church at night with nothing to do but talk. And I remember him dying and telling me to stay gold. How could I stay gold after all that happen ? And then I don't know what happen but I start to feel angry. What was wrong with Steve anyway. Why was he such a bastard toward me. Its not like I ever did something to make him mad. I try to avoid being around him as much as possible. And still he give me bullshit. Well I'm not gonna run away again. I shouldn't have let him get me so easily. Dallas was right **'don't let people get to you and you will be fine'**. That what he use to say to Jonny and me all the time. Well that's what I'm gonna do. No one is gonna mess with me anymore. No one is gonna hurt me anymore. I wont allow them to. Ill stay far away from people. Not like anyone will give a damn. They all ignore me. The only friend I ever had is dead and Ponyboy die that day also.

Looking around me I saw that it was pretty dark already. I made my way toward home and to the silent night I vow that I was never going to le someone make me run away again. Whatever happen in the future ill handle it i will face it. So come what may ...

A.N: And like promise this was Pony pov. Next chapter will come soon I'm working on it.


	8. Where’s Pony And Steve’s reflections

Dealing With Things

Summary: Its six month after the book but Ponyboy cant seem to move on. Will he ever be able to smile again ?

Author note: This is my first time writing a story so please be kind. And also English is not my first language so if you see mistake feel free to tell me about it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to S.E Hinton Voila now on with the story.

Where's Pony And Steve's reflections

Darry Pov

I was going to kill Steve. I was going to hurt him bad. I just couldn't believe how he could said something like that to Pony. Was he out of his mind. Now Pony was missing AGAIN. And this time he was completely alone. What if he did something stupid. What if he actually .. gave up. Ohh god he wouldn't do that now wouldn't he. We had to find him. But I had no idea where to search. He could be anywhere and it was already night. Once again i had failed to protect him. I felt so useless right now. I'm suppose to be looking after him. Of course I never would have though that things would turn this way. Never in a million years. I mean this is Steve we're talking about. A guy that I saw as another brother. What was happening to us. We're suppose to stick together no matter what. We shouldn't be fighting each other. I mean if we don't have each other then what's left out there for us ?

Soda Pov

How could Steve turn into such a bastard. How could he say those terrible things to my brother and walk away like everything was ok. I just couldn't believe it. He's my best friend almost like another brother to me. I couldn't and didn't want to believe it. But seeing the angry eyes of Two Bit. I knew it was true. My brother had ran away because of Steve. Because of my best friend. We had to find him and then I'll deal with Steve myself.

Two bit Pov

God I couldn't look at the Curtis. Darry was looking like he was going to kill someone not that I could blame him. And Soda... The always grinning Soda was looking like I had shot him or something. Now you ought to understand that Steve and Soda well they're more than best friend. The bond they have with each other is so strong that its actually scary. And if you had tell me a few months before that something would come between them well I would have tell you to stop smoking weed cause it was making you loosing it. But then again the only thing that Soda loved more than Steve its his brother. Steve should have know better than that. Really he should have. I was so worried for the kid. He wasn't in a right state of mind. Hell what was going to happen now.

Steve Pov

I saw Darry's car passing the street in front of my house with Two Bits and Soda in it. I saw Soda's face. He looked hurt. I knew why. I had messed up pretty bad. But I've done it for the better. The kid need to stop showing so damn much emotion. He ought to be strong and hard if he wants to survive. Being all romantic and dreamy will get him no where. He ought to know that. But he couldn't become hard and strong if Soda and Darry and now even Two bits protecting him like he was made of crystal. I don't hate the kid. Really I don't. That's why I'm doing this. I only want to protect him. That's why I'm willing to let go of my best friend. If that's not a proof that I care about him. Well fuck it.

A.N: Another chapter. Yes i want to thank you all for the review its really nice. I'm trying to work fast but I'm really busy right now. But don't worry I'm not done yet. And there's more to come. Next Chapter : Pony's return.


	9. Soda Face Steve and Pony’s Return

Dealing With Things

Summary: Its six month after the book but Ponyboy cant seem to move on. Will he ever be able to smile again ?

Author note: This is my first time writing a story so please be kind. And also English is not my first language so if you see mistake feel free to tell me about it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to S.E Hinton Voila now on with the story.

* * *

Chapter 9

Soda Face Steve and Pony's Return

Soda Pov

I'm so worried about Pony boy. I have no idea where he could be and this is killing me. But even though I'm worried sick I can't seem to push Steve out of my mind. How could he. Damn it he's my best buddy. I love the guy to death and he goes and stab me in the back. How the hell am I suppose to take it. I need the sun of a gun in my life. And I though he felt the same way about me. But no he had to go and attack the thing I cherish the most in my life. What was wrong with him. No I couldn't take it. I couldn't accept it. There must be some kind of explanation or something. I had to go and confront him. I had to find out. Yeah I just had to understand.

Steve Pov

When I open the door and saw him standing there... I almost die right away. He had this haunted and confused look in his eyes. I knew he wanted some answers. But i didn't though I was ready to answer them. Oh hell let's just face it I just didnt want to answer them. It was raining outside and the stupid guy wasn't even wearing a coat so he was soaking wet. I told him to come inside and he did without saying a word. There was a tense silence but then suddenly he start.

Damn it Steve why did you do this

Because it was need to be say

What the hell are you talking about ? Asking Pony how come he was still alive was need to be say ! Are you out of your mind or what.

See you're doing it again reply a frustrated Steve

What ? I'm doing what again

Taking is defence

Of course I'm taking his defence he's my little brother what else did you expect

That just it man. You and Darry and even Two bit are always protecting him. He's not just your brother he's a greaser man he need to be tuff and hard if he wants to stay alive and not be hurt. How can he became hard if you keep protecting him. Putting him in a shield and treating him like he was made of glass. Life is hard ok he ought to know that and to understand that there's not always gonna be someone behind to protect him.

Shut up Steve you don't even know what you're talking about. He saw his best friend die and another one of his friend being shot. He was jump so many times that I lost count of it. People at school treat him like shit everyday and you still think that he doesn't know what life is about. In all this shit he's the one who suffer the most and that's why I'm going to stand beside him no matter what. And you know what. You're so wrong when you say that there's not always going to be someone to protect him cause as long as I'm alive nothing you understand nothing will cross him or hurt him. So the hell with you're bullshit about life. You know nothing about it anyway.

Whatever man you're the one who's wrong

Shit Steve said soda with a breaking voice My little brother is somewhere alone out there thinkinghe's not worth a shit and this is all because of you. You my best friend. How could you do something like that to me. I love you man. Like a brother andI though you felt the same about me. GuessI was wrong uh.Damn it Steve if something happen to him I'm never going to forgive you.You get that never.

With that Soda ran outside without turning back missing the tears rolling on Steve's cheeks and he's quietwhisper reply

I love you too man

Pony Pov

I was going back home. But was it really home ? If yes then why was I feeling like I was going straight in hell. Maybe I was being too dramatic. Of course I was being too dramatic. I didn't even recognize myself or my reactions anymore. I'm so damn mess up. It seem like since Johnny... I can't even bring myself to say it. It seem like since everything happen I've lost a part of myself ... like something die inside of me. Is that even possible. Can you die but still be alive at the same time? What had happen to me ? Life happen I guess. Nothing else nothing more. But could I really go back ? Could I face them all again ? Somehow the people who I loved more than anything on this earth had became my worst nightmare. Their eyes always remind me that his eyes were close for always now. Their voices remind me that he would never talk again . Their love cause somehow they love me remind me that he was never loved and that he would never fall in love. Everything always brings me back to him. He was my best friend my companion in everything. The one that saw me as I really was. An hopeless dreamer an impossible romantic and most of all a life believer. But where was all that now ? It was still there I could feel it. I was going to come back because that's what he would have wanted for me. He wanted me to stay gold. I was going to do just that. For me , for Darry Soda Two bits and even Steve. But mostly because I wanted it for myself. I didn't want to be an half living anymore.

Taking a deep breath i walk toward the door not knowing what was going to happen. I was scare stiff and nervous like hell. But still I manage to push the door open.

A.N: Yeah i know i'm a bitch to cut it here but come on ... Lol anyway i'm going to update more often now since i have a 2 week vacation coming BIG SMILE


	10. Pony's back

Dealing With Things

Summary: Its six month after the book but Ponyboy cant seem to move on. Will he ever be able to smile again ?

Author note: This is my first time writing a story so please be kind. And also English is not my first language so if you see mistake feel free to tell me about it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters they belong to S.E Hinton Voila now on with the story.

Chapter 10

Steve Pov

I never knew that watching someone walk away could hurt so damn bad like that. I didn't get it though. Why was he so mad at me for? I was doing the kid a favor by telling him all those things. I was only trying to make him understand. See Pony is not like us. He's not a real greaser. I mean he dig sunshine poetry stuff like that. A greaser knows nothing about that kind of thing. A greaser fight and curse steal and hurt. Nothing else nothing more. Beside Greasers can't have feelings. Cause feelings and emotions are a weakness.

Damn I haven't cry in years. Yet Soda manages to make me feel like hell without even touching me. Not even my old man can do that. And he's my father for god sake. The only person I could have cried for well I didn't even cry for him. It was my brother Sean. He was two years older then me. And since he died two years ago I never shed tears for anyone. One because he ask me to and Two because before dying he told me

''Steve you're a greasers and be proud of it. Don't let anyone or anything get to you and remember emotions and feelings are weakness. They'll bring you down if you let them rule you ''

My brother was stabbed to death by a Socs. He didn't make it. This was the last thing he told me. And this was the thing that helped me survive after that. And he was right. Because after his death if I had let myself be overwhelm by the pain. Do you thing I would still be there today? He was right he protected me by telling me that. And that's why I told those things to Pony. I told them so he could face them and then just get over with it. I told them so he could feel a stabbing pain and then wake up and tell himself that he would never let anyone hurt him like. I was only trying to help him. And if Soda can't see that. Then I guess he was never my friend anyway. Cause if he was he would have get it. He should have got it. He **ought **to get it.

Soda Pov

Walking away from Steve was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. I almost went back. But I didn't. The conversation we just had kept turning in my head again in again. I didn't get it though. He wasn't making any sense. Nothing he had say had made sense. I knew he never liked Pony. It's not like he ever try to hide it. He was always telling me that Pony was too soft and that he wasn't man enough. He never understood Pony. And I guess that he never really tried. Because all Steve can understand is violence. Steve doesn't know how to handle any other emotions. He couldn't understand why Pony was so nice all the time. He never understands how he could spend hours reading a book when there was a fight going on. He never understands why he loved watching sunshine when there was thousand of girl to check out. My best friend couldn't see that my little brother was something special. He was the only good thing in our neighborhood. Even Dally could see it. Dally would sometime past hour watching Pony read or draw in total fascination. But Steve he understand none of it. He never though that Pony was greaser enough. God where could Pony be anyway? I wish he didn't ran away. But then again I wish a lot of thing didn't happen. I guess I should head back home.

Two bit Pov

We had search everywhere for Pony. But there was no sigh of him. It was like he had vanished from the earth or something. For hours we had looked in every possible street we even called Cherry. She came and helped us. But she went home a couple of hours ago. Damn where could that kid be. He better be alright. He had to be alright. For the sake of the whole gang. Well for the sake of what's left of it. I could almost sense the anger coming out of Darry. He was really pissed at Steve. And I guess also disappointed at him I suppose. We knew each other all or life and always stick together. So he had the right to feel this way. And as for me. Well as far as I was concerned. Steve didn't exist anymore. I know you must be all shock. I mean that always carefree Two-Bits saying something like that. Well yeah I may be goofy all the time. But the thing most people seem to forget is that I'm still a greaser. So I can be a cold bastard also. And what Steve did was just plain cruel. The kid wasn't in his right state of mind and because of Steve he must be going crazy or something.

Darry Pov

By the time we had reached the house I was ready to call the police. I was scare for Pony but mostly because if they were here maybe they could stop me from killing Steve. I know I wasn't really acting like myself. But when it came to one of my brother am capable of everything. And when I open that house and saw my little angel lying peacefully on the couch. I lost it and start crying like a baby. That of course woke him up and I felt a little bit guilty about it. But then he look over at him saw me crying and look completely horrify he went over me quickly and throw his arm around me.

"It's ok Darry I'm back please don't cry I wont run away anymore I promise please don't cry" He kept chanting in my hear again and again

I only hugged him close and buried my face into his hair. I didn't want to let him go.

I eventually did let go of him. And before I knew it he was in Two Bit arms. Now that kind of shocked me. The only person I ever saw Two-Bits hug was his little sister. But then again Two Bits and Pony were always pretty good friend.

"Uh Two Bits I'm glad to see you too but come on I can't breathe anymore"

And that's when I saw it. I saw he's eyes. They didn't look so death anymore. So cold and out of emotion. My baby brother was coming back. I couldn't wait to see Soda's reaction.

A.N: I know it's been a while but you know how life can be crazy sometimes. But I'm back now. I hope you guys love this new chapter. Do you guys think Steve is out of character here? I'm trying to make you see his point of view more. I'll work on that in the next chapter also.


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